At 22 I said “I do.” At age 23 I wanted to leave my husband. But by 29 we had a fantastic marriage. Now, I am turning 40, it just keeps getting better every year, as we learn and grow. The seemingly passive, disconnected man that I once was so annoyed by, disappointed by, and so intent on fixing, has turned into my strong, trusted teammate on God's mission, my best friend, my intimate lover, and my pastor — a man who I deeply love and respect.
But the change didn't start with him. It started with me, responding to God's beckoning to open my hands in surrender to needing to get everything I wanted, to come to God first, to learn to truly love my husband with His love, regardless, and to stop trying to fix him. Now, I feel compelled to pass on the wisdom that got us from the pit onto the solid ground of a healthy, truly happy, God-honoring marriage.
For many years, I had been putting my closest-journalist skills to use, writing and gathering lessons, quotes, stories, and biblical wisdom on love and marriage from Scripture, books, and trusted resources — just for my own personal growth.
Then one day, a younger woman said to me, “You should really put that project together in a way that other people can benefit from it too.” After that, the idea would not leave me alone.
Then, weeks later, I woke up in the middle of the night with a deep sense of calling, feeling compelled by God's Spirit to teach and write this material for other women.
“But I am not a marriage expert,” I argued with myself.
Then one day, Titus 2:3–5 practically jumped off the page at me. It specifically calls “older women” to “teach younger women HOW to love their husbands.”
That was it. Wives don't only need wisdom from experts, therapists, and pastors. They also just need older Christian women, who love Jesus and have thriving marriages, to pass on what they've learned along the way, and HOW they do it.
So this material is the treasure I wish I had been handed on the day I said, “I do.”
At the heart of it, is this conviction: we can only fully know what love is and how to express it when we first find it and learn it in God.